How can a worthless person with a worthless degree escape the restaurant industry?

Alright here's the deal: I'm a 31 year old waiter. I typically work in pretty fancy places with nightly sales in excess of $1500.00 and I normally take home around twenty percent of that a night, so the money is excellent, far better than I could ever hope make with my undergraduate degree in philosophy. The restaurant industry also allows me to live pretty much anywhere I want in the country as long as I stick to larger cities. Travel is very important to me and in the past eight years I have moved about extensively. I also like the hours, my typical shift is only around five hours, I work thirty hours a week, tops. The problem is that I feel like a loser. I work with a bunch of kids, I hate the industry, and I despise the fact that I am in a position to be demeaned over the temperature of some idiot’s coffee. Although I am a consummate professional, engage in mindless banter when the guests want it, remain unobtrusive if that’s what they want, I feel trapped and it makes me DESPISE nearly everyone that walks into the restaurant. With my student loans and living expenses, I can't afford a pay cut, so that limits a lot of the possibilities available to someone with my lame degree and lack of any special skills, I can't get anyone to put me behind a bar, I don't know why. I feel like my only worth is my ability to be subservient to rich imbeciles and I hate that feeling. Although I'd like to think I'm of above average intelligence and ability perhaps I'm just not. Maybe that’s why everyone but me is doing so well, that they at least get some sense of personal satisfaction out of their work. Why is that so impossible for me to achieve? What’s so wrong with me that everyone else my age has found their niche while I'm stuck with this BS job in this BS industry?